EU’s Human Brain Project Reaches Adolescence


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EU’s Human Brain Project Reaches Adolescence, Loses Keys, Mouths off to It’s Parents.


“The Human Brain Project has reached a monumental milestone today.” Says Professor Henry Markam, the director of the European Union’s 24 country strong mega project.

The Human Brain Project, along with Blue Brain project are meant to create supercomputers that function like human brains.  Markam describes the mission like this “The Computers will be just like us, we’re not really sure why we should, it just sounds fun, I guess we might cure a disease or two… who knows really, I always just wanted a computer shaped like a brain.”

Reports from the École Polytechnique Fédérale de Lausanne state that an experimental stage of a computer exhibited behavior reminiscent of a cranky teenager, claiming that it had lost it’s keys and “had to go see Joey”. Nobody present could say who the hell Joey was. Martina Fe´li, an intern from Morocco tasked with testing the unit’s speech functionality was found slumped in her chair crying after being told off by the computer, and having her choice in hair style, an oriental type up-do criticized.  “I just couldn’t believe how rude it had learned to be, I told my fellow interns not to use it to download bootleg episodes of Jersey Shore… but they didn’t listen to me, and now the computer is so rude.”

While Martina is not sure she will continue her internship, Dr. Markam is thrilled with the results so far.  “This behavior is a sign of great progress, the fact that it’s acting human is very promising in terms of seeing how our own consciousness develops, and I can’t have children… so, yeah…”

Smaller World, Bigger Clock


It’s the 21st century people, and while flying cars seem to have taken a back seat, everything coming to replace that once novel idea is only more awesome, and the hits just keep on coming.

From 3d printed food, 3d printed organic bits, computer chips being integrated into everything, literally everything. The internet will be integrated everywhere, while the physical presence will be unnoticeable. But I’m not writing about that today, I’m writing about a potential block to worldwide prosperity.  Calendars.

Picture this; All global commerce has to share the same calendar, specifically the Gregorian Calendar. As in Pope Gregory XIII. So the entire business world needs one calendar, but the Vatican city is still pretty much in control of your calendar, and therefore, your time. However run a wikipedia search on the Gregorian Calendar and you’ll see that even though it is 2014 here in America, and wherever business is concerned. But if you’re of the Bahai faith it is the year 170, British Regnal year (based on the monarchy) year E. 62-63, Hebrew Calendar year 5775, and so on and so forth.

Now there is a loooooooooooong list of reasons we keep track of time, no need to go into all of them, but it is important to note several instances where time was changed to control people. So let’s not point the finger at the Vatican, as they’re so subtle (not when it comes to pedophilia cover-ups) with time MGMT. But I’m sure you’ve all heard of the Khmer Rouge year zero disaster. The military coup that resulted in one small east asian country having it’s calendar reset to year zero, and the subsequent genocide of a million people.

The point here is that time is manipulated and controlled, often for power plays. This is an opinion piece, I am not an expert, but it doesn’t take an expert to realize that unifying time for the sake of an entire planet can change everything.

I am excited to see this project gain momentum, and I hope the world will come to accept it in defiance of dogmatic ruling. For the sake of reason.